Why not ask for help?

WHY NOT ASK FOR HELP?
Let’s start with the reasonable premise that we are all human, we have our strengths and our weaknesses, and that often we can do with some help. But … sometimes we just do not ask for help, even though it is pretty certain that we could benefit from that help. So why are we sometimes reluctant to ask?
Why can we be reluctant to ask for help? One of the most famous sayings we are taught when we are young, is “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” Yet when we get older we cease to heed that advice ourselves, even if we may still occasionally give the same advice to others! Why the reluctance? Here are a few possibilities, and maybe you can think of some others:
*  Maybe we are too proud. But what is pride and how does it serve us? Maybe we are too stubborn or we choose to be unnecessarily independent.
*  Maybe it is a lack of courage; we may need courage to admit that we need assistance.
*  We feel shame that we have either got ourselves into trouble, it may be seen as a sign of weakness. Or we don’t want others to see that we don’t know how to get out of trouble.
* Perhaps we just don’t know how to move forward with a problem.
*  We cannot explain exactly what the problem is.
None of these possibilities logically justifies us enduring the pain of being struck for an answer. What is the worst that can happen if we talk to someone?
Who do we ask? The choice of who we ask can be important. It needs to be someone we can trust, and who will be utterly confidential. It also needs to be someone who has the skills to support us, although they may not necessarily need to be able to solve the probelm directly for us. We may just need guiding in the right direction. A friend or member of the family might be the right person … but equally often they are not. Often the person people are more and more frequently choosing to turn to is a coach. Why is that? Well coaches are discreet, they are good listeners, and are trained and skilled to help you find your best solutions (not someone else’s solution). Professional Coaches are experienced at putting problems or challenges into better perspective and setting things in the right context. Coaches don’t judge their clients, they are there to support them and help them move forward by first understanding, then putting strategies and plans in place, and accompanying the client on his or her journey to success. People tell their coach things that they often would not share with anyone else – and that can be quite liberating!
One final point. Don’t assume that no one can or will help. Once we have decided who is best placed to help (a coach or someone else), we must not make assumptions about whether that person is willing to help us or not. Just ask them kindly. It is their right to decide whether to help or not. We do not need to assume they won’t. This takes us back full circle to “If you don’t ask, you don’t get!”
So what now? So here is today’s challenge … If you could ask for help with just one issue in your life, what issue could that be? Now what are you going to do about it?
Thank you for reading this Newsletter. How could you make use of the points raised to improve your life, work or business? If you want to discuss how you could be supported in achieving more, simply give me a call.
Best wishes to you   –   Gerard

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