This edition explores balancing our own expectations, and the expectations others may have of us. If those two are not balanced it will almost inevitably lead to problems. So let’s try to understand what is going on around expectations …
Our own expectations
We all have our own expectations of what we desire and hope for. How do we get the balance right between “stretching” ourselves to reach our true potential, and yet not constantly pushing ourselves so that we eventually burn out. We need to find the right pace to both reach our potential and to enjoy each moment!
For the former “stretching” scenario, we supposedly only use 10% of our brain capacity; and physically most of us have sedentary jobs these days so our bodies need more physical exercise than most jobs allow us.
But we also know that running (mentally and physically) around until we collapse is not good for our long term health either.
So how do we get our own expectations in balance?
Well there is no pre-written answer, but a good place to start is to ask ourselves the two questions we have already mentioned: am I stretching myself enough?; and am I not overdoing things and enjoying the moment?
In my experience asking both questions usually leads us to a well balanced solution. Take some quality time to reflect and find your own , and then later a little more time to tune and verify them. Perhaps ask someone else who is impartial and will challenge your answers in an objective, honest and supportive way – perhaps your own coach?
The expectations of others
In both our work and personal lives there are bound to be others who have expectations of us; rightly or wrongly, it is bound to happen. It will probably be our boss or colleagues – or our spouse, partner, family and friends.
It is normal for most people to have expectations from others. But whilst these are their expectations and not ours, it still affects us – because it is about us!
It is fine for us to have our own expectations and for others to have expectations of us, but the problem occurs when there is a mismatch.
Often however a mismatch is only apparent once something has gone wrong – those two sets of expectations clash and the differing outcomes become evident.
The answer seems clear – communicate. Check that these two sets of expectations are communicated, an exchange takes place and a common solution is agreed. Honest and quality dialogue is required to resolve the mismatch. Of course that may be easier said than done, but it is the best way to avoid at least one party being disappointed (and it is often both parties that will be affected).
Are these problems raised by clients during my coaching sessions? You bet – all the time. So how about taking the …
Challenge of the day
Can you spend two minutes thinking about ….
What are the main areas of “expectation mismatch” in your life? What are you going to do about it?
Who do you know who might benefit from having their own personal or business coach?
I am, as always, happy to talk to anyone – no obligation whatsoever! Just call or email me.
To find out more about the range of services I offer please visit:
Head Coach, Life Coach Associates